Do you need space in your relationship, and if you do, how much? The answer to this question depends on you, your partner and the type of relationship you have. While there are some couples that thrive on constant companionship, there are some couples who require their own space in a relationship.
What type of relationship do you have?
While it would be nice if both partners required the same amount of space, many times you need to find a happy medium. As long as both partners are comfortable with a compromise then you can overcome the challenge of your different ideas about time spent together and needed space in a relationship.
There are people who don’t like being alone. They love spending time with people, especially those that they’re close to family, friends, co-workers and of course their partners. Being alone makes time feel lonely and a little lost.
There are also people who need to be alone. Not necessarily all of the time, but they need to have some solitude every day. Without this time alone they have a hard time relaxing, which can lead to them feeling burdened or overwhelmed. When they are with other people they feel like they need to be “up” for the people around them, which can be exhausting.
Those are the extremes.
Most of us lie in the middle. Loving to spend time alone, but also enjoying time spent with your partner. If both of you fall into this happy medium, it should be easy defining your space in a relationship. You can also have it easy if you’re both in the same extreme group. If you both need to be alone or desire lots of space, then this can make life a lot easier.
Where you would have a problem is when each of your ideas of space is different. If you require solitude, but your partner doesn’t want to be alone, you would need to set boundaries. Having a talk so that each of you understands the others need for space, will allow you to find a compromise, a happy middle ground where each of you has their relationship needs met.
This talk is essential, if you never discuss your needs then when you go off for your required solitude, your partner may feel neglected. Even though you’re not leaving because you don’t want to be with them, they may experience the pain of being rejected.
By the same token, if you want to spend all of your time with your partner, and he wants to be alone. He may feel smothered. He may think you don’t trust him, and that you have no respect for his private time. However, in truth you just don’t want to be alone.
As you can see, what can be a simple misunderstanding about each of your relationship needs can quickly cause a problem?
However, by talking about the space in a relationship and learning what works for you as a couple you can find a way to make your relationship not only work, but make it stronger.
So next time your man goes off to be by himself or hangs around you, you’ll know that it’s not a trust issue or a privacy issue, it’s just that you both require a different amount of space in a relationship.
Wishing you success in life and love,